Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I Have A Headache

I have a headache. I shouldn't have but I did, watch two back to back episodes of Passions. Why did I put meself thru it? Curiosity with the comings and goings in Harmony.

In a nutshell, the Crain, Bennett and Lopez-Fitzgeralds families are still as batty as the caves in Mexico. Allow me to recap....Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald has been freed from the execution chair by Dr. Eve who finally came to her senses knowing her son with Julian Crain, Vincent aka The Blackmailer was responsible for the deaths of her daughter Samones lover Rae, and a bartender who knew who Vincent was and his own Doctor, held the prison guards at bay with a tazer explaining who the real killer was. Vincent was also the lover of Eves son-in-law Chad who happens to be his uncle and is married to Whitney another daughter of Eve who had left Chad earlier to join a convent because she was convinced Chad was really her half brother. Sooo Vincent wanted to destroy Eve because Julians father, Alistair, had stolen Vincent as a baby and left him in foster homes which made him believe Eve and Julian gave him up. Chad still wants Whitney back but after she caught him and Vincent in "the act" which must have been a first for daytime TV she is having second thoughts. Smart girl.

Luis is now free to marry Fancy Crain, daughter of Julian, gee that will make her Fancy Crain-Lopez-Fitzgerald, but Sheridan Crain her aunt arranged with Vincent to bring Pretty (yes that's her name) Crain, Fancys sister back to Harmony to show Luis what Fancy did to her. Thinking Luis would leave Fancy and run back to her. Lets just say...chick fight, bottle of pool chemicals and Pretty ain't so pretty anymore.

Sheridan and Luis had a thang years ago but Luis was lost at sea and Sheridan believing him dead hooked up with Chris who worked for Alistair and was a plant in the Crain Empire. Chris grew tired of Sheridans rather bizarre love for Luis who had since moved on to Fancy. Now Sheridan made a deal with Vincent if she killed Theresa, Luis's sister, he would free Luis. Sooooo Sheridan clogged Theresa on the noggin, dragged her to the electric chair, yes in the same prison just down the hall from where Luis was receiving the morbid milkshake, strapped her into the chair and pulled the lever. Theresa was shaking like a saltshaker over a bag of FrenchFries when Gwen her arch rival happened upon her. Gwen checking to see if she was a goner, was zapped herself, thrown across the room and hit the lever stopping the flow of electricity to the tartarina Theresa. Sheridan had tried the week before spiking Theresa's tea with Rat Poison but she is one tough lil cookie.

Ethan, Luis's lawyer and resident d'oh man and whuse, is also Theresa's lover and father of Little Ethan their child though Ethan doesn't know it believing him to be Julians child with Theresa, runs off to find Theresa as her brother Luis sinks into the white light. He finds Gwen and Theresa, of course reviving them both, crediting Gwen for saving Theresa's life. Not on your life cause Theresa stole Ethan from his marriage to Gwen who is back in town to finalize their divorce and tell Ethan Theresa's "big secret" of him being Little Ethans father.

This big secret also being held by The Blackmailer who forced Theresa to marry Jarod and have his baby or he would reveal Little Ethans parentage. Vincent has a thang for Ethan and wants him for his own though Ethan isn't too thrilled with Vincents designer dudes. Even with the she/he mask and clothes, they just don't work as Rebecca found out wearing the same outfit to the execution thinking they came from 5th Avenue.

Meanwhile back at Tabitha Lenox's house who is the resident witch, Spike is under a spell and stripped down to a loincloth doing her cousins biddings under threat of sending him back to "the boys in the basement" who are major demon dudes. Also Keeping him away from killing Miguel, Luis and Theresa's brother who's in lust with Kaye, Police Chief Bennetts daughter and another witchie poo in training, because Fox Crain, Julians son, who is married to Kaye wants Miquel out of the picture permanently. And also preventing him from returing to Jessica, another of Police Chief Bennetts daughters who married Spike, is preggie and remains with him even though Spike buried her in a coffin in the park 6' under and was only found when Kay made a deal with the Demon Dwarf. Poor Jessica was soon arrested by daddy for the multiple murders of men Spike pimped her for during her druggie days only to soon find Spike confessing of the murders only to keep Jessica his money maker in line.

All the while the Father Lonigan moans about great evil coming to Harmony...........I still have a headache.

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