Retirees and Their Mowers

What is it with retirees and mowers? I ask ya. Why do they insist mowing on Fridays? Is it because they need to quantify their existence to the neighbourhood? Yes, we know you’ve worked hard for it but come on, your neighbours don’t have that luxury of waking up and pondering, hhmmm, what to do, what to do. Yes, Gord, Ross, Marylynn, ole man MacDonald, we know you’re alive but really! Couldn’t you have done that during the week when the rest of us are working?

My office is beside the maintenance shop and well, we all know how boys and their toys can be. Give it! More grind! Do it again! Ye gads, get it out of your system lads as I’m sure the Mrs won’t put up with the noise when you get home. I need peace when I get home. I want to hear the finches in the garden, the soft breeze blowing the orbs along in the pond, and quietness but alas that is not to be.

So it’s late Friday afternoon and my sleepy neighbourhood comes to life with lawn mowers, chain saws, whipper snippers, you name it and if it runs, you bet it will. Gawd almighty, I need peace and quiet after 12 days of work, but nooooooooo. Come 4pm the mowers begin like the Nascar race. Okies, I don't watch cars driving around and around and around but I figure they are all gassed and ready to roar. Don’t they appreciate what it was like when they put in a full week and just wanted to unwind? Me thinks not. Heavens, have mercy on me. The grass will wait being sacrificed to the perfect level. Mind you mines a tad long but it will wait as shall I, and it won’t be on a Friday afternoon.

After the symphony of John Deeres and Lawn Boys today, I shall pour a goblet of liquid gold and ponder starting up me own mower at 7 am Saturday in reverance for those evening diehards. And for their honour guard I just may remove the muffler!