Lighting the Season

At last, the outside Kissiemuch lights are up and sparkling. Whew. I swag a garland of fresh greens along the top of the veranda and wrap it in white and yellow large bulbs and of course green twinkles. Well they don’t twinkle like those bloody Disco inspired lights from a few years ago. Neighbours would hang them along eaves and flip the switch. Arrghhhhh me eyes me eyes. I felt caught in that video floating on the net of an engineer who wired his home and the exterior lights flashed to Trans Siberian Orchestra every friggen night. If he was mine I would have snuck under the cover of darkness and snipped a few wires. Thank heavens those days are over.

I do enjoy lights this season but there has to be rules. It may be harsh but we will all be better off for it. Trust me :D

1. If you’re decorating a tree wrap the branches please. Ideally the same you would as your own Kissiemuch tree. Don’t be wrapping the trunk with those nets of lights and stop when you can’t reach any further. This only gives night lights to the rodents who chew bark during the Winter.

2. When hanging icicle lights kindly ensure the string is the same colour as the house eave. Tis fine while they are on at night but o dear during daylight those white strings against a black eave are a dead give away and take away the magic.

3. Do not mix that unearthly glow of LED lights with traditional. NO NO NO. Stick with one or the other. That is an assault on the visual senses making munchkins and animals go blind.

4. When confronted with boxes of single colour strings do take the time to mix the bulbs. A yellow string connected to a green connected to an orange connected to a blue connected to a red just isn’t right. Makes me think of a Rubics cube and even that joined successfully isn’t pleasing to the eye.

5. Once done, do flip the switch to ensure all bulbs are lit. Even if it means dragging out the ladder in -20 weather and replacing a few. I’ve seen too many pretty light displays where a few are burnt out. It reminds me of a few teefs missing in a smile. Take the time to check lights in the warmth of your home before hanging outside.

Happy lighting and remember Santa sees those lights and will record who’s are naughty and which ones are nice. He also assures Mortimer is watching over The Pond. :D