Saturday, February 14, 2015

The weather according to Saint Valentine


6:51 PM EST Saturday 14 February 2015Extreme Cold Warning in effect:
A prolonged period of very cold wind chills is expected. No feckin' kidding!

Bitterly cold arctic air will be ushered in by stiff northerly winds tonight and Sunday. As a result, wind chills will easily reach lets make it a little harder shall we, minus 40 to minus 35 tonight into Sunday and will likely persist into Monday morning. Even colder wind chills of minus 45 to minus 40 are possible in more exposed nae every area..

People outdoors Twits foolish enough to venture out should exercise extreme caution. Frostbite on exposed skin may occur in just a few minutes. The famished looking joggers with the “ooooo look at me participating in winter” attitude should be rundown by a snow plow. Please drive with care.
Wear appropriate clothing:
Always wear clothing appropriate for the weather. There isn't enough clothing to prevent you from freezing yer arse off unless you live in the Arctic.
Dress in layers with a wind resistant outer layer. You can remove layers if you get too warm (before you start sweating) Sweating? It's too cold to sweat so there is no need to remove layers, or add a layer if you get cold. Add a few more and you can't move because you wobble like a penguin. 
Wear warm socks, gloves everyone knows you need mitts. Fingers join to keep each other warm. No one in their right mind wears gloves in this weather, a hat and scarf in cold weather. Be sure to cover your nose to protect it. Your nose? Just your nose? My nose is so stuffed up I wouldn't feel it if it fell off. 
If you get wet, If you get wet? Even the thought of peeing oneself once the cold hits you makes you stay inside, besides bits shrink in the cold, change into dry clothing as soon as possible. You lose heat faster when you're wet. Well there's a thought, who knew when I stepped out of a hot shower I would feel chilled. 
Avoid alcohol. Fug that!  Drink as much as you can, then fall into bed and sleep the day through because nothing is moving, not man nor beast. The snow plows have given up so you aren't going anywhere. Deal with it.
Consuming alcohol before you go out in the cold may increase your risk of hypothermia because it increases blood flow to the extremities of the body. You may actually feel warm even though you are losing heat. This is where a warm blankie and thermal socks come in handy. It ain't purdy but who says Valentines Day has to be.

Happy Valentines Day to you and your loved ones. 
Need I say stay warm   :)


  1. Yes... Well said.... What a winter....

    1. What a winter for sure Michelle. I can't remember one this cold. But have faith! days are getting longer and we know what that means :)


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